Gifts From God

In recent experience, I have concluded that NOT all gifts from God are a blessing, but a curse.

The Beginning, The Ending

In the Beginning, I was born with nothing. In the end, the Lord will make sure I die with nothing.

John 18:38

"What Is Truth?"

I Am Not Job

I cannot have everything taken from me and my family and praise the name of the Lord. I just cannot do it. There must be a limit on these so called life trials. There must be a limit on how many "tests" of faith are presented to me. Even a dog growls at the Master he loves if he is beaten down too much. They say God has a plan. What plan? The starvation plan? The frequent flier customer at a pawn shop plan? WHAT PLAN?!? Why does the Lord need to be loved with all of these calamities in life? Is He a stalker or something? "I'll boil your bunny, but you have to love me." Is that how it is going to be? I AM NOT JOB!

Am I Going To Hell

I am told constantly that in order to be "saved", I have to believe the following: That Jesus Christ is the Son Of God born of a virgin birth(check), Jesus Christ died for our sins (check), Jesus Christ rose from the dead and will come again (check), Jesus loves me (um...NO check). Am I going to spend an eternity in Hell because I fail to believe Jesus loves me?

Man In A Box

Why Am I here?

Seems like a simple question. Why Am I here? Could it be to get a college degree? Done that with Honors. Serve my country? Done that too, in combat. Serve the public? Done that on several occasions, both as a police officer, and a corrections officer. I am doing it now as a Jailer. So what? Raise a family? Doing that. Serve God? Not sure how to do more for that. I have gone to Church when able to after I was "saved" in 2004. I am no longer sure if there have been any improvements in both my spiritual and physical life after that event. Up until recently, I have prayed on a regular basis. My quality of life has declined since that has become a regular part of my life. I do have conversations of faith with my inmates at times. I defend Christianity on the internet. I give to the offering when I can. What else is there? Here is what I am sure about. I am what people would refer to as a Christian. I do believe that Jesus Christ was born from the Virgin Mary. I believe he is the Son Of God. I do believe he is the only one who has led a life without sin. I do believe he died on the Cross to pay for our sins. I do believe he rose from the dead, and ascended to heaven, with the promise to return again in fulfillment of prophecy. Now for the ball buster of questions: Does He love me? I am not sure. He does not know me. I do not know Him. We are strangers, yet he asks me to sacrifice much. I have done so. There is nothing more I can give except for my very life, which He has not asked me for. I am not Job, the man who lost everything just so the Lord can prove a point to Satan. So again the main question stands: Why Am I Here?